The Formation of Habits

Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow an act, and you reap a habit; Sow a habit, and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.
Charles Reader

In the previous post, keeping self-promises, I stressed the importance of self-discipline and how to build the habit of keeping promises. Self discipline is a self-reinforcing habit, which is the reason why it is crucial to start working on it first.

A habit is like a muscle; the more you train it, the more you'll be able to lift with it. It is also like a ship; the more you dig holes in it, the more it will sink. An easy way to work on a habit, just like with self discipline, is to gradually form it.

For instance, if you would like to quit smoking (or in other terms, form the habit of not smoking), you should start by assessing your current situation:

- How many cigarettes (or packs) on average do you smoke per day?
- What is the maximum number of cigarettes you would smoke in the most stressful day possible?

Let's assume you smoke a pack a day and would smoke two if your life were in the gutter. Make two packs, or 40 cigarettes, your upper limit. If you're not comfortable with it as your upper limit, you need to set a limit that you're convinced you won't exceed.

Next, you need to measure and keep track of the number of cigarettes you're smoking, even if you're sure you will not cross the upper limit. Write down the number of cigarettes you smoke in a spreadsheet or on paper. Log your progress even when you think it's unnecessary. This will keep you conscious about your progress.

Now, the rule is the following: the upper limit does not have to go down but must never go up. Lower it as you feel comfortable. There's no rush. Remember though, never raise it!
Whenever you start feeling comfortable with the upper limit, lower it. Don't spend more than 10 days with the same upper limit lest you lose focus on your goal.

As you start leaving behind smoking and other bad habits, something will be filling the void and you'd better choose consciously what you want to replace them with. Make sure to form beneficial habits so you won't have deal with them later. Any good habit you form enhances the overall quality of your life. First, it helps you get over a bad habit more easily. Also, it is a badge of achievement: once you've added a good habit to your toolbelt, you're more confident about your capabilities of improving even further!

In summary, below are the steps to getting rid of bad habits:

• Identify a bad habit in your life and decide you want to get rid of it.
• Observe and assess the habit and its patterns.
• Identify the upper limit.
• Lower the upper limit as you feel comfortable.
• Do not keep the same upper limit for too long.
• Write down and monitor your progress.
• As you're getting rid of a bad habit, replace with a beneficial one.
• Repeat with other bad habits!

Keeping Self Promises

Time and time again, we promise ourselves to cut down on junk food and procrastination (...and [insert bad habit here]) and attempt to build up a more productive life. We adhere to those promises for a few days then we start making excuses for ourselves when we don't live up to them; for some reason, all the forces in the world seem to be working against us! Next, we realize our whole attempt is a failure. We despair but a few weeks later, forgetting the hundreds of times we've tried to brake our habits, we, yet again, reiterate the same cycle.

Quite frankly, if you're stuck in there, you're already on the right track: you are aware of your bad habits and are willing to put some effort into braking them. You can see and want to be on the bright side of the bridge, congratulations!

Deep inside, you know the real problem is not that you eat junk food, procrastinate, and have bad habits. Think about it, if you could actually keep the promises you make to yourself, wouldn't you be able to, one step at a time, get rid of all of these habits? You've guessed it, the real problem is your lack of self-discipline.

Self discipline is very interesting. In its core, it's a habit, one worth investing in. Once you have it, you're fully capable of tackling other habits that bother you! Also, it's a habit you can easily develop.

Here's how you do it! (Really, give this a shot!)

Sometimes around the beginning of your day (you don't need to wake up earlier than usual) or as some of the readers have suggested, the night before, pick a pen and a paper and write down 7 extremely simple, clear and beneficial todos for the day. Simple is crucial here: if you pick hard todos, you might end up not being able to finish your todos. Also, if you pick vague todos, you won't be able to measure your performance. Finally, since you don't want to end up with the habit of doing useless things, pick beneficial todos. The difference between keeping your promises in this method versus trying to change other habits is that it's easier to build a new habit than to modify one you've gotten used to.

Below is a list of simple, clear and beneficial todos: (These are just examples. Come up with yours)

1- Drink 2 glasses of water. (While most likely you'll be drinking more, remember, the goal is to build the habit of doing what you decide to do)
2- Read 10 pages of 7 habits of Highly Effective People.
3- Work for 50 minutes without being interrupted.
4- Stretch for 2 minutes
5- Go to bed before 3:00 am
6- Spend less than 2 hours watching TV or Youtube
7- Email Joe

Avoid todos that you might fail to accomplish:

1- Be happy (Too vague and not easily measurable)
2- Drink 5 glasses of water / Read 100 pages / Work for 7 hours (Tasks that require long periods of time are usually harder to complete. Avoid such tasks especially at the beginning of your self-discipline building journey. )

Use common sense in choosing your todos. Little by little, work on setting higher standards for yourself. It's alright if you fail sometimes, don't kill yourself, but don't build the habit of ignoring your todos. If this happens, choose easier todos and make sure to do them! Keep doing this for 30 days at your own pace. Don't worry about the other habits you have, once you've developed self discipline, you'll be good to tackle them!